Tortallan Weakest Link!!!
by rubi of queenscove
Summary: Who ever thought that Tortallan characters would be on the Weakest Link... PG for a couple of swears. Read author's note>>very important.
1. Default Chapter

A/N: Just wanted to put this up before anyone else got the idea. More coming VERY soon. Also I am in desprate need of a ...well, not a beta-reader, just a helper for my other fic (Lonely) Interested? Email me!!!  
Ok...here we go...Tortallan Weakest Link! (Incase you can't figure this out, the characters have been transported to the future.)  
  
Announcer: These 8 players have nev- well, they have met, but anyway, here they are!  
  
Kel: Keladry of Mindelan, 18, Knight.  
  
Cleon: Cleon of Kennan, 20, Hopelessly in love with Kel...  
  
*Kel elbows Cleon*  
  
Cleon: Sorry, sorry! I didn't mean to embarrass you...  
  
Announcer: Can we PLEASE get on with it?  
  
Alanna: Sir Alanna of Pirates Swoop and Olau, Kings Champion and Knight.   
  
Person in audience: SIR Alanna?   
  
Alanna: *clenches fists and turns red in anger* Yeah, that's right. Sir Alanna. I'm a knight. AND King's champion to boot. You got a problem with that?  
  
Person in Audience: *looking confused* What's a King's Champion?   
  
Alanna: Don't pretend like you don't know. Now, get you and your sorry sword down here and let's duel!  
  
*Person in Audience runs away in fright*  
  
Alanna: *smugly* That should teach him...  
  
Announcer: Anyways...  
  
Daine: Verlidaine Sarrasri, 17, Wildmage.   
  
*Person in audience seems to have returned*   
  
PIA: What's a Wildmage?   
  
*security guards come out and take PIA away*  
  
PIA: Hey, what'd I do?   
  
Daine: Goddess, this is taking FOREVER!  
  
Jon: King Jonathan of Conte, 40.  
  
Owen: Owen of Jesslaw, 16, Squire to Lord Wyldon of Cavall.   
  
*Lord Wyldon nods*  
  
Wyldon: Lord Wyldon of Cavall, 45, retired training master of pages.   
  
Faithful: Faithful, who knows how old, Goddess's familiar.   
  
Announcer: Thankfully, we have gotten through that last half without inturruption. And now, here's your host...NEALAN OF QUEENSCOVE!!!  
  
  
  



	2. Round 1

To WildMageLioness: I know that Ann Robinson is the host, but Neal really seemed to fit (w/ all the sarcasm and whatnot) To Ghristinga: If you read all my other stories, why didn't you review :( AN::: I know there's not too many questions, but I don't feel like writing 2:30 worth. On we go!  
  
Neal: You all know how the game works. You will try to win a maximum of 125,000 gold nobles for each round. The fastest way to do this is to make a chain...  
  
Person in Audience: *kicking and screaming from offstage* WHAT'S A GOLD NOBLE???  
  
Neal: You've never heard of a gold noble? Well then, sir, you OBVIOUSLY haven't heard of something called A LIFE.   
  
Alanna: You go, Neal!  
  
Neal: Anyways, start the clock. Kel, what ducal house was attacked during the Immortals war?   
  
Kel: Legann  
  
Neal: Correct. Cleon, what baron set up a peace treaty with the Yamanis and marriage negotiations with Princess Chisakami?   
  
Cleon: Ummm... Ummm... Lord Sinthya??????  
  
Neal: No, Piers of Mindelan  
  
*Kel gives Cleon a look that could kill. Cleon looks extremely embarrassed*  
  
Neal: Alanna, who is the yougest Sorcery Master living?  
  
Alanna: Why, that would be Thom of Trebond, of course.   
  
Neal: Sorry, Liome of Kastan.   
  
Alanna: *already turning red* WHAT DID YOU SAY????  
  
Neal: *confused* Just what it says on this little screen...  
  
Alanna: *marches to center of stage* WHO WROTE THIS CRAP??? GET DOWN HERE AND DUEL WITH THE LIONESS!!!  
  
*a great WHOOSH sound is heard, and suddenly, the audience is gone, running from the studio*  
Neal: *tentatively tapping Alanna on the shoulder.* It says LIVING, Lady Alanna.   
  
Alanna: But...Thom IS living...He lives in my heart...  
  
*audience returns*   
  
Audience: awwww....  
  
Neal: Oh, Mithros above! There's only 50 seconds left!!! QUICKLY!!! Daine, what is the scientific name for the human being?  
  
Daine: Homo Sapiens  
  
Wyldon: How in the hell does she know what a scientific name is??? Why, I don't even know!!!  
  
Neal: *rolls eyes* Correct! King Jonathan, Who is one of the 3 brothers of Tusaine?   
  
Jon: King Ain!  
  
Neal: CORRECT!!! Owen, what is a five letter word that starts with J, ends with Y, and has two l's in between?   
  
Owen: Jolly! That was such a Jolly question! Why, I couldn't think of a jollier person to ask that question!  
  
Neal: Absolutely, positivly...WRONG! Just kidding. CORRECT! Faithful,  
  
Faithful: MEOW!  
  
Daine: Faithful says BANK.   
  
Neal: How many different gods ar- *music sounds* Time is up, I cannot complete the question. In that round, you banked a measly, PATHETIC, 5,000 gold nobles.   
  
Daine: Odd's Bobs!  
  
Neal: Now, team, the question is: Who is one plate short of a full armor set? One incantation short of a spell? It's time for you to vote off who YOU think is...the WEAKEST LINK!!!  
  
Announcer: Statistically, the worst player was Alanna. She caused a fight and made everyone flee the building. The Strongest link was Faithful. He actually banked 5,000! But, In this early stage of the game, will the other players notice?   
  
Neal: It's time to reveal who YOU think is the weakest link.   
  
Kel: *with a snarl* Cleon  
  
Cleon: *looking dejected* Wyldon  
  
Alanna: Daine  
  
Daine: Cleon  
  
Jon: Alanna  
  
Owen: Cleon!  
  
Wyldon: Cleon  
  
Faithful: Meow!  
  
Daine: Faithful says Wyldon.  
  
Neal: Well, well, well. Kel, why Cleon?  
  
Kel: What kind of boyfriend is he?? He doesn't even know my FAMOUS FATHER'S ACCOMPLISHMENTS!!!  
  
Neal: Well said, bestest buddy. Daine?  
  
Daine: Cleon's a moron. How dare he be so unfaithful to Kel?  
  
Cleon: I'M NOT UNFAITHFUL!!! I JUST...FORGOT.   
  
Neal: Well, stastically, Alanna, YOU were the worst player.   
  
Alanna: WHERE IS THE FREAKIN' GUY WHO FIGURED THE STATISTICS??? *Alanna runs offstage. Faint yelling and screams are heard*  
  
Neal: Well, it looks like we lost her...but anyway, it's votes that count. Cleon, you ARE the weakest link. GOODBYE!  
  
Cleon: *announces to audience* People, settle down. I have an announcement to make. *He grabs Kel by the bicep forcefully and pulls her out to the center of the stage. He gets down on one knee and pulls something out of his pocket*  
  
Kel: *gasps*  
  
Cleon: Kel, I have loved you ever since I first saw you...and...don't hold it against me that I just forgot something today...I was under a lot of pressure, you know! Kel, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?  
  
Audience: OOOOOO!!!  
  
Kel: Cleon...when you say it like that, how could I say no?   
  
*Cleon and Kel kiss*  
  
Audience: Awww.... *cheers and claps*  
  
*Cleon walks off towards backstage*   
  
Kel: *calling after him* Don't worry honey...if I win all this money it will go right to Kennan!!!  
  
Cleon: Right on, my Lady Knight. *Walks off*  
  
~! Backstage, talking to Cleon !~  
  
Cleon: I really don't care that I got voted off...as long as Kel wins all that money. You go girl!  
  
~! Back to Neal ~!  
  
Neal: Only six players remain. One will win the money...the others will leave with nothing. Who will win? Find out when we return to... The Weakest LINK!!!  
  
  
  
  
AN: Hoped you like. I DESPRATELY NEED IDEAS FOR QUESTIONS/WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT EMAIL ME!!! And r/r my other fics. Bye!!!  
  



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